Some stuff.

--The two gayest-seeming allegedly straight young men in my law school class have now become friends.

--Last night I had dinner out by myself, and was surrounded by couples on bad first (or near-first) dates. Here's a selection of quotes from the male half of the goth couple seated behind me:

[at top volume] "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" "It's just a flesh wound!" "I'm a loud person."

"My favorite movie is Amelie. It's just really beautiful."

"I'm sorry. I had a few, a few drinks beforehand. You should catch up!"

Superb. The other date guy I could overhear was talking about veal (did you know it's inhumane?), and his brother's diet and cholesterol level. ("Cheese, eggs, butter, cheese with eggs and butter.")

--I hate everyone.

--I went to visit a friend in the hospital. She'd had spinal fusion and was shaking from the pain, this despite the morphine pump. I wish I would have gone on more bad dates so I'd have had more entertaining stories for her. Or puppets. Finger puppets? More morphine.

--Why is this motherfucking Pope John Paul II miniseries on TV when I need something actually distracting to watch?

--Despite my bile, today was a good day. I had lunch with Ms. K and tea with Ms. P (yes, *the* Ms. P), both of whom invited me, which makes me feel like they get me and find me entertaining as a person and all. I bought BIG PAPER for timelining exam problems and drawing flow charts. (I have inexplicable faith in the big paper. It's just that most of the fact patterns I've seen on practice exams have had more relevant facts than you can really chart out on a regular piece of paper. Therefore, big paper. (OK, I just explic'd my inexplicable faith, yes?) No, not legal size paper--I think it's become obsolete due to a wave of new filing rules. Everyone keeps asking why I'm so excited about the big paper. I just hold it up and say "It's big!!)

--Also today, I attended a Bar/Bri torts review video featuring the founder of Bar/Bri. The running joke among those attending was that his little plastic glass of "water" was actually vodka. This seemed plausible because his affect was so disproportionate to the subject matter. (It's proximate cause! There's no need to bellow!!) And because there was a bad transition where he kind of banged his head on the podium, then there was an edit and he reappeared, much fresher. It was all very suspicious.

--Yesterday at the shrink, I realized that the worst thing about law school for me so far is that it makes me feel disconnected. Now, I'm sure this is partly due to the complete change in social situation and day-to-day-activities, the lack of real friends, etc. But it also seems like the legal thinking interposes itself between me and reality like some big dense gray cloud. It makes it a lot harder to be present, and to be in touch with my feelings. It makes yoga harder. It can make things feel kind of empty. And then it takes me a day or so of just sitting around stewing to start being aware of my feelings again.

--I'm happy and impressed that our impending mini-finals are generally bringing out pro-social and caring behavior from the 1Ls I know. (Ex: Lunch and tea invites, genuine inquiries into one another's welfare, offers to take notes for one another at the deadly dull Bar/Bri videos, bringing snacks to same.)