Friday, September 30, 2005

Something is making me uneasy this week. Something that I probably should have considered earlier.

So, Law. What is Law about?

(Pause for reflection)

Clearly, there are many possible answers to this question.

But one answer is: Law is about things that could go wrong. Further, the practice of law is to some extent about anticipating things that could go wrong, predicting their consequences, and attempting to head them off via various maneuvers.

In other words, Law is about worrying.

Those of you who know me know that a tremendous amount of my psychic energy over the last few years has gone into resisting, unraveling, and generally just trying to get the fuck over my anxiety, part of which is probably a hard-wired thing about how I respond to stimulus in the world, a lot of which comes from my mom and the ways she chose to use me as a vessel into which to pour her own historical and personal trauma (by way of teaching me how to "survive" in a hostile world). Despite the fact that I've been dealt a pretty damn good hand in this life (smarts, general good health, economic stability, humor, and some degree of charm), I have spent far too many years of my life seeing the world as a dangerous place where it's best to trust no one and you have to fight to survive.

Ringing any bells?

I'm good at this, but it is also going to be hard to play.


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