Parental Dialogue

Mom, at the Hometown Buffet, mashing a napkin over half a piece of leftover cake:

"We should hide this so they won't know we're wasting food."

At home:

Me: "Does Dad gargle?"
Mom: "I don't know. Why?"
Me: "Well, he's making a horrible gargling noise in there."
Mom: "Maybe you'd better go check on him."

Dad does gargle.

This visit was not concretely bad. Mom was objectively well-behaved. But I still came home, sat down, and two hours later needed to crawl into bed and cry.

I find this whole thing especially frustrating because it's hard to explain to other people. My mother's craziness rarely lends itself to straightforward anecdotes--everything is a just a couple of jots off, which is, of course, the problem. It's both insidious (probably especially so for me) and exhausting to be around.