Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Aaaa! ('Tis the Season)

Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. It's Giant House Spider mating season already. How do I know this? Because last night while I was sitting on the couch reading the New York Times, a giant spider came charging across the floor, and, undeterred by my screaming, went directly under the couch.

The worst thing about Giant House Spider mating season (besides the blind and desperately horny male spiders running frantically around your house) is that it's also Hobo Spider mating season. Hobos have a toxic bite, and they're generally smaller and hairier, but a small Giant and a large Hobo can be the same size. So one finds oneself crouching on the couch peering over one's knees trying to see whether the large spider running across one's living room at high speed is hairy or not. Good luck.

I thought caulking the living room might eliminate this problem, but evidently these spiders have a rat-like ability to squeeze through small spaces.


At 5:33 PM, August 16, 2005, Anonymous TheLessImportantM said...

I couldn't help but post another comment because I followed your hobo spider link at it SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME.

The Emo-Ranter used to always make fun of me for claiming 1) That spiders bit and that 2) I had been bitten by a spider.

I wish I had never followed that stupid Hobo Spider link because now I am really scared.



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